Posted by Benjamin on: 04.25.2007 /
Wanted to draw your attention to Logan’s story. He refers to himself as a “courageous coward”. Logan realized during and after his first tour of duty in Iraq that as a Christian he could no longer justify his work. So he started the process of asking to be given non-combatant conscientious objector status. This is the first of 3 video clips on his web site. In this clip, he says
A large part of my life was destroying as much as possible of whatever I was told to–human life, personal property
I don’t think that Christians are called to kill anybody at anytime, and that put me in difficulty with regards to my job, because my professional obligations were pretty much to do that.
H T to Joe for this one.
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Comment by: joe
1 04/25/07 3:13 AM | Comment Link |Yeah - I was going to post a link to him here this morning. It is some kind of sick black humour when a guy who volunteers to go to Iraq unarmed is labelled a coward.
Ehren Watada is another soldier who risks imprisonment for refusing to fight in Iraq.
Comment by: Staci
2 04/25/07 1:57 PM | Comment Link |Such labels just shut down dialog and understanding and increase groupthink. I was listening to the news on NPR this morning on my way to work and heard a portion of the hearing where the Tillman family and Jessica Lynch are speaking. I was struck by this statement from Ms. Lynch:
“The bottom line is the American people are capable of determining their own ideals of heroes and they don’t need to be told elaborate tales.”
Comment by: April Terry
3 04/26/07 2:34 PM | Comment Link |I’m glad that you posted about this man because I thoroughly enjoyed reading his story.
I am forever amazed at how God can transform us and change our ideologies in an instant. This young man’s words seemed to be well thought-out and intelligent, not the words one would hear from someone just trying to shirk their duties. I thought him totally credible and very transparent.
When God sends us in an opposite direction, we often question what he is doing because the drastic change very often causes conflict in the intial phase. In the end, however, God remains faithful and the reward far exceeds the initial challenges. These are the moments of beauty that I love the most about our walk with Christ.
Comment by: Benjamin Ady
4 04/26/07 8:52 PM | Comment Link |April. So doesn’t this require enormous amounts of hope/faith–what you are talking about? I mean from over here it looks like a lot of times the rewards are pretty minute compared to the challenges, or as some have put it “Life is hard, and then you die”, or as Megs put it once “The Devil seems to win in some lives–people who live and die in darkness and pain and solitude”
I think if you really believe this, you must be a real christian, because it seems to me that the level of hope is bordering on insane, and it seems to me that that is the level of hope required to be a christian–it’s part of the reason I can’t call myself a christian–I can’t muster that much hope, generally speaking.
I also really liked Logan’s attitude and affect. it’s … compelling
Comment by: joe
5 04/27/07 2:07 AM | Comment Link |Benjamin - I don’t think that necessarily to be a Christian means to hold on to the impossible hope and to keep going in the day of testing.
Sometimes things become too much and you have to hope a step removed - ie you’re not sure you have enough faith to hope in this impossible hope stuff, but you hope you do.
As I have said before, I feel uncomfortable around people who are living the victorious christian life, because mine feels so fragile. Some days I believe in all this God stuff. Sometimes it sounds like the most unbelievable nonsense. Mostly I don’t know and limp through the day.
Comment by: Helen
6 04/27/07 4:41 AM | Comment Link |This reminds me of something I heard on the radio a few weeks ago that was rather shocking to me: they were talking to a woman, quite elderly now, whose father was shot for cowardice during WW1 (I think). She was talking about how it was such a shameful thing, it was years before she heard that’s actually how he died, rather than being killed in combat.
I think they were saying he was recently pardoned.
Anyway - maybe I’d heard people were shot for cowardice but it hadn’t really registered until I heard that interview.
Joe wrote:
Wow, Joe, I love when people are this honest - I think it’s such a gift to others who will read what you write and feel incredibly relieved to see they aren’t the only ones who feel like this after all!
Comment by: joe
7 04/27/07 7:21 AM | Comment Link |Helen said
Yeah well, y’know. I think most people are pretty insecure really.
Either that or I am a complete FREAK.
Comment by: Rachel
8 04/27/07 7:49 AM | Comment Link |I totally relate to that, Joe. Actually I’ve come to have a pretty negative association with that phrase “the victorious Christian life” because it generally seems to refer to acting happy, happy all the time and to getting God to give you what you want. To me, Joel Osteen teaches people how to live “the victorious Christian life.” I just limp along most days too. I heard someone recently refer to “those of us who stumble after Jesus.” I like that. I wrote about this on my blog a while back: In the Dust of My Rabbi.
Comment by: Helen
9 04/27/07 9:19 AM | Comment Link |Joe, I vote for: on the inside we’re all complete FREAKS. And if we were more honest we’d know that…because we’d admit it to each other more often.
Actualy in my case it might be obvious in spite of my attempts to hide it ;-)
And what’s neat is - when you are honest it might give someone else the courage to be honest, which will give someone else the courage…etc.
Comment by: Benjamin Ady
10 04/27/07 9:30 AM | Comment Link |Rachel,
As regards Joel Osteen–Have you ever actually watched him? My god–talk about toxic. Here’s a bunch of stuff from the sermon they had up with streaming video on last sunday (the sunday after the VT thing)
and here’s the crazies bit from that sermon–He quotes colossians 3:12 thusly
Can someone please help me figure out what translation he’s using? ‘Cause I can’t find that *anywhere*
Comment by: April Terry
11 04/27/07 12:14 PM | Comment Link |I love the transparency that is being offered here because I feel the complete honesty in it.
Benjamin asked me if I really had this level of hope and I believe that I sincerely do and I don’t think that it comes from insanity (although some may argue otherwise! :-)), but I want to say that it isn’t something that came instantly. It is something that I have worked through, sought over and over, and still continue to reach toward.
Faith/Hope is a lifelong struggle, but it is a struggle that is worthwhile and there is the possibility of confidence in one’s faith as Joel Osteen describes above, but it should be balanced with humility in the knowledge that we still have a long way to go.
There are real and meaningful rewards to living what I would call a victorious life of adventure in Christ, but you won’t get those rewards by taking the easy road. What Joel Osteen is talking about in regards to living a warrior mentality might seem like obscenities while our country is in the middle of war that most of us hate. But he talking in spiritual terms, and he is talking about having confidence in what you believe and having confidence in your God. There is a measure of confidence that can be obtained without throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Having a warrior mentality doesn’t mean that we are going to war with each other. It means that we are going to war with negativity and evil deeds. It means that we are fighting hate with peace, and battling rage with love. If you are doing that, you are living a warrior mentality.
The fact that you are all asking these questions means to me that you don’t want to take the easy road. They are all questions that I asked myself in the past and I found ways to reconcile my beliefs with the things that my heart questioned. Some might call that a compromise, but I feel that it is a personal release from trying to know every aspect of God’s being.
At some point, you have to step forward in faith or not step forward in faith. If faith is the action that we take, then we go forward knowing that we may not get all the answers that we have. My life in Christ is better than a life without Him, and so I chose to step forward in that faith and since that time, many of my deepest questions have been answered through experiences, through reading and through serving others in my ministry. Man, I wish I could sit face to face with all of you and tell you the amazing stories that have shored up my faith!
During the most difficult times in my life, I have most closely felt the presence of God. To me, that is when the real beauty of God’s love is most visible, but frankly, you can’t see it with your eyes. You have to see it with your heart.
Comment by: joe
12 04/27/07 1:02 PM | Comment Link |April - you see the problem is that I am suffering a kind of spiritual depression. I am just sick to the back teeth of all of this churchy stuff. It really makes me want to throw up.
Taking what you wrote as an example, I am not doubting your sincerity but I could not bare to read the words and I scrolled through them . I am allergic to your language.
Regarding your last paragraph, I don’t want to feel God in the difficult times of life. I don’t want to feel God in the good times.
I want to feel the presence of God in the here and now. Whilst I am digging the vegetables, vacuuming the floor, waiting for things to happen in my life that never seem to. The daily monotonous grind. Because if God truly lives inside me, he is not closer to me in the bad times and in the good times than he is at the moment.
The first few paragraphs of this post on my blog sums up pretty much what I feel about most things I hear in church. They are tired and meaningless to me.
Comment by: April Terry
13 04/27/07 3:59 PM | Comment Link |Joe,
I’m sorry that you felt that way about my post because I was trying hard not to be too preachy, but Benjamin had asked a question of me and I wanted to respond as honestly as possible.
Also, I wanted to convey that it is possible to live a rich life of faith.
I personally don’t go to church. I don’t feel comfortable going to church. I’m totally sick of the churchy stuff, too. Everything that I believe I have experienced outside of the church structure. Faith, for me, is experienced from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep at night.
My convalescent home ministry affords me an opportunity to serve others with love and compassion while bringing music and a message to the elderly who can’t get out. That ministry is the closest thing I get to real, meaningful worship in a group setting. Outside of that, the rest is up to me.
I have to make an effort to continually search for God, and what I am trying to say is that, in my opinion, it is well worth the effort. Faith isn’t something that falls down on you like rain. It is something that you reach forward and grasp.
Comment by: Rachel
14 04/27/07 9:22 PM | Comment Link |What a beautiful ministry, April!
Comment by: Helen
15 04/28/07 4:56 PM | Comment Link |April sometimes writes about the people her convalescent home ministry touches on our OA blog.
Here are April’s posts on the OA blog
Comment by: logan
16 05/2/07 1:13 PM | Comment Link |now i know where joe came from! really invigorating to read all these comments and thoughts. on self-identifying as a “coward;” i have found many examples of disciples stealing roman imperial language from the mouths of their persecutors. ‘gospel (evangelion),’ ‘Lord (kyrios),’ and ‘ekklesia’ all come to mind. when the language is subverted, it is a nonviolent form or revolutionary subordination to the powers that be. “coward” is an acronym that popped into my head in DC last june: Conscientious Objector Willfully Against Rendering Death. pacifism should not be the act of pacifying, but willfully, intentionally refusing to hate or murder, which are one and the same.
anyway, i would love to go on, but i dont want to violate what might be a private setting. it has been very edifying to be able to read about all the deep discussion on here. Joe, i think the book might actually get picked up, but thank you for the suggestion about lulu.com…
Comment by: joe
17 05/2/07 1:21 PM | Comment Link |Logan, you are a hero not a coward.
Whatever you said could not possibly violate anything - in fact, we’d all be a lot wiser if we were able to listen and talk through this stuff with you.
I hope you’ll come back and chat some more with us. I’d like to hear what you’d do in Rwanda for a start…
Comment by: Rachel
18 05/2/07 2:05 PM | Comment Link |Welcome, Logan! Your courage is inspiring and it’s an honor to have you join the conversation!