Posted by Benjamin on: 05.14.2008 /
On Mother’s Day, which was Sunday, The Observer ran a story in which Abdel-Qader Ali attempted to justify (apologize for, in the “give an explanation” for sense) the fact that he and his two sons beat his 17 year old daughter Rand to death on March 16th this year.
Rand, who was studying English at Basra University, was deemed to have brought shame on her family after becoming infatuated with a British soldier, 22, known only as Paul.
…
‘Death was the least she deserved,’ said Abdel-Qader. ‘I don’t regret it. I had the support of all my friends who are fathers, like me, and know what she did was unacceptable to any Muslim that honours his religion,’ he said.
Sitting on a chair by his front door and surrounded by the gerberas and white daisies he had planted in the family garden, Abel-Qader attempted to justify his actions.
‘I don’t have a daughter now, and I prefer to say that I never had one. That girl humiliated me in front of my family and friends. Speaking with a foreign solider, she lost what is the most precious thing for any woman. ‘People from western countries might be shocked, but our girls are not like their daughters that can sleep with any man they want and sometimes even get pregnant without marrying. Our girls should respect their religion, their family and their bodies.
‘I have only two boys from now on. That girl was a mistake in my life. I know God is blessing me for what I did,’ he said, his voice swelling with pride. ‘My sons are by my side, and they were men enough to help me finish the life of someone who just brought shame to ours.’
Abdel-Qader, a Shia, says he was released from the police station ‘because everyone knows that honour killings sometimes are impossible not to commit’. Chillingly, he said: ‘The officers were by my side during all the time I was there, congratulating me on what I had done.’ It’s a statement that, if true, provides an insight into how vast the gulf remains between cultures in Iraq and between the Basra police and the British army that trains them.
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Comment by: Janice
1 05/14/08 12:03 PM | Comment Link |This is bone chilling to me…and I haven’t read the entire post, but this caught my eye and I thought I’d comment on this part -
Our girls should respect their religion, their family and their bodies.
How can they respect those things if there is no respect for ‘life’? Are are those things dependent upon one another?
Not in justification of the death penalty but at least its a group of people determining guilt, Not one person, or the immediate family whose ‘pride’ has been hurt.
I can agree we all have blind spots in our culture, can some peopele toss out what they think the blind spots are in their own countries?
Comment by: joe
2 05/14/08 12:17 PM | Comment Link |Funny that, I’ve never felt the urge to murder my daughter for a minor misdemeanour.
OK, I take that back. But I’ve not yet done it, thank God.
Comment by: Benjamin
3 05/14/08 12:49 PM | Comment Link |Janice.
So are you saying that it would have been “better” if a jury of her peers had found Rand guilty of dishonoring her family and then she had been more “cleanly” executed by means of, say, lethal injection?
Comment by: Helen
4 05/14/08 1:24 PM | Comment Link |I do think there’s a vast gulf between a culture which agrees with a father and sons killing their own daughter/sister because they disapprove of a relationship she’s in, and the British and US authorities which step in to prevent parents from physically harming their children.
I don’t happen to agree with the death penalty but I think it’s a different issue from saying parents can enforce justice within their own family to the point of brutally killing their children if their children do something they disapprove of.
What I wonder is - what would this father be like in another culture/ Would he be as brutal if the culture didn’t mandate brutality against one’s own children as a way to enforce justice? How responsible is the culture/belief system for the way he is?
Comment by: Janice
5 05/14/08 1:25 PM | Comment Link |No, I’m not saying that at all. Not sure how I left you with that question.
What I am saying is that perhaps a group of people hearing facts at a trial might possibly be more inclined to come to a more ‘just’ or unbiased conclusion, or a conclusion that the family honor wasn’t really as valuable as her life.
I don’t advocate the death penalty at all which is what I began my sentence with.
I was responding specifically to your question in your OP which you seemed to compare the death penalty in a trial to the death penalty in a familial or cultural sense. “in what sense are they different?”
If both end in death - nothing different. In the sense of ‘due process’…very different.
Comment by: Janice
6 05/14/08 1:29 PM | Comment Link |How responsible is the culture/belief system for the way he is?
That is a very good question Helen. In one sense I look at personal responsibility and just ‘knowing’ better.
On the other hand I can not dismiss the fact that in many ways we are such a byproduct of our culture. This man was very much formed by his environment/culture I believe.
Its this reason that many westerners can ’see’ the way we contribute to tension between east and west. What if we grew up seeing the world from their perspective? Would we be less enchanted with the US than they may be?
Comment by: Benjamin
7 05/14/08 3:23 PM | Comment Link |Janice
Just wanted to say *totally* sorry to read into your comment!
Yes I see what you mean–due process. Although due process also seems to be a throw-away item here in America nowaday
Comment by: Helen
8 05/15/08 6:16 AM | Comment Link |Here’s a scary thought: how many of the fathers we know would be like this father if their culture condoned it??? I’d like to think, none, but are the people in Basra that different from us that I could be sure of that?
Comment by: Elaine
9 05/18/08 1:17 PM | Comment Link |Does anyone know if the punishment would have been the same if this were his son who committed this cultural/religious violation?